Don't send Christmas cards with only your little brat's pictures on it.  If you do this means you think you're fat and ugly or both.
Don't write your Christmas letter from your brat.  It's not cute, it's creepy.
Don't add your brat's name to the answering machine.  You really don't want anyone calling them anyway.
Don't bore your friends with stories about your brat.  They don't care.
Keep your brats quiet in restaurants.  I know YOU'RE immune to their screams but everyone around you wants to call CPS on you.